You've been through so much, Denise, and it must have been so painful to see your son so hurt and damaged by those family relationships. I hope he is doing better now and I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I still believe that radical forgiveness, hard as it is, especially when people don't deserve it, has healing powers for our physical and mental health. I don't know that I could forgive under those circumstances, because like you, I would be so upset and hurt.

Two of the most extreme examples of radical forgiveness I've ever heard of were when Corrie Ten Boom forgave the Nazi who guarded the death camp that she and her sister were in, and when Joyce Meyer forgave the father who raped and abused her from the time she was a child. I can't even imagine forgiving in those circumstances. But I believe that ultimately that is the only kind of forgiveness that would restore our broken world. We see so much war in the world, so much dissension in families, all because people carry around their hurt, their failings, their ignorance and their hate.

I agree with you that sometimes we must remove ourselves from situations that damage us. But I believe instead of viewing these people as toxic, our mental and emotional, spiritual and physical health would improve if we could view them as damaged and flawed instead of toxic, and pray for them (from a distance). Thanks for your thoughtful comments, and I hope you and your son have a joyful holiday season.