You're hilarious! Love this piece! My mother, who died four days short of her 102 birthday, planned her entire funeral years ago and sent the plans to her pastor. He promptly lost it and fessed up some time later. Within 2 weeks she had sent him another copy. When she died he was long retired and gone, but a lady in church who knew everyone's business helped us locate him. He had all the information we needed, down to the detail, and her came from two states away to perform the service.