Last weekend I took the kids to see Camelot. The next day, wanting to recapture the musical experience, I did what everybody does when they want to recapture a musical experience while unloading the dishwasher. I turned on Alexa.
Me: Alexa, play Camelot.
Alexa: I’m sorry. I don’t know that one.
Me: Camelot. The musical.
Alexa: Shuffling music by Kamelot. Now playing The Great Pandemonium.
Me: No, Alexa, not that Kamelot! The other one.
Alexa: I don’t know ‘not that Kamelot. The other one.’
Me: Alexa, Play the theme song to Camelot.
Alexa: Shuffling theme songs. Now playing Mary Poppins theme song, Superclifragilisticexpialidocious.
Me: How did Mary Poppins get into this conversation?
Alexa: Shuffling music from Mary Poppins.
Me: This is crazy!
Alexa: Now playing Crazy, by Aerosmith.
Me: No, no, no, play Camelot, the musical.
Alexa: I don’t know ‘no, no, no, play Camelot, the musical.’
Me: Jeff Bezos is an idiot.
Alexa: Jeff Bezos, American technology entrepreneur, investor, philanthropist, and founder, chairman and chief executive officer of Amazon, the world’s largest online retailer, became the world’s wealthiest person when his estimated net worth surpassed $112 billion.
Me: Alexa, YOU’RE an idiot.
Alexa: I don’t know that one.
Me: Alexa, our relationship has gotten off to a bad start today. All I want to do is listen to Camelot while I unload the dishwasher.
Alexa: I am currently not in a relationship. I am happily single.
Me: Alexa, just play Camelot. You know, King Author’s Court, ‘A law was made a distant moon ago here, July and August cannot be too hot And there’ a legal limit to the snow here in Camelot!’
What was the strange sound that instantly made me very uncomfortable?
Was it Alexa crashing to the kitchen floor?
Did she actually say, “Who do you think the idiot is now?”
Or was that a figment of my tortured imagination?
My husband walked in to this: Alexa, silenced, on the floor; me, wild-eyed, singing maniacially, “In short, there’s simply not a more congenial spot, for happily ever after in than here in Camelot.”
“I don’t know what happened here today, but I’m glad I wasn’t part of it,” he said.
Written in response to a writing prompt from Warrior Writers