What a difficult journey! Relationships with grown children can be tough. I've discovered that trying to find my self-worth or fulfillment through them is sa path to disappointment. Your determination to branch out and seek some new involvements was a brave thing to do, instead of sinking more and more into depression. I just joined a Woman's Club after retiring, then Covid and taking care of my mother 24/7. When she died last summer, I knew I needed some more activities. Those friendship connections are so important for mental health.