What a beautiful, provocative story. I would have made the same choice you made if the sliders in my brain had not already, years ago, been pushed over to the “God” side. My husband was an atheist (or agnostic, depending on your interpretation) whe we married. He carried out a ruthless, persistent scientific search for truth and evidence while I quietly and joyfully lived with my beliefs. He eventually decided, as you did, that the God decision provides more opportunity for happiness and wonder.