Thank you for being so honest and authentic. I'm sorry you are going through this, but your self-awareness and refusal to blame others is a good start toward healing. Our happiness and joy stem from our own inner self anyway, so it doesn't make as much difference how other people act as we sometimes think it does.

I wish you would read Joyce Meyer's Battlefield of the Mind.

You have a wonderful life yet to live, and you will get there. Never despair, as tomorrow or even the very next hour holds promise of being better.