Mateo, thank you for your honest and heartfelt story. The God I believe in isn’t proved or disproved by the Old Testament stories that outline the history of the ancient Hebrew people. The God I believe in also isn’t to be confused with religion, or church, or Christians, or suffering, or how people act. The God I believe in is grace, and love, and purpose, and not a white man or a yellow man or a black man, but all of us. I think in my heart this God is not done with you yet, even if you feel you are done with Him. I don’t mean that in a hellfire and brimstone way, but in a way that is love and joy ready to be accepted.