First of all, I’m sorry about your father, Tim. Secondly, thank you for being so transparent and honest.
Zig Ziglar once said “If you can help enough other people get what they want, you’ll get everything you want.” So maybe if you figure out what other people want and what you with your particular talents are able to provide along those lines, you’ll start making money. It’s a shift in focus, but a powerful one. Good luck and enjoy the process!