Daniel, I am so sorry for all you’ve suffered, which sounds like more than anybody should have to endure and so unfair. Sometimes life is like that and there seems to be no rhyme or reason. But I truly believe this life isn’t all there is, but is only a small drop in the bucket of the eternity we will experience. Both good and evil exist in this world, but Jesus said “I have overcome the world.” Jesus also suffered tremendously, which must have been unfathomable to his disciples at the time.
You are young, with a lot of tragedy in your life already, and I hope you have a glorious future ahead, regardless of what you choose to believe. You deserve some happiness! I challenge you to read a little of the New Testament each week for a year, and ask God to reveal himself to you through it. I will be thinking of you.